Posted in Monthly Goals

September 2022 Goals Recap

Not a great month for my goals.

  1. Take my daughter to Adventure City (a small theme park in Anaheim, CA) x It was too hot most of September, so i didn’t do this
  2. Run 30 miles x I ran maybe 6 or 7 miles
  3. $400 grocery budget x I spent about $430
  4. Spend less than $60 on fast food * I spent $58
  5. Read 5 books * I read about 15 books
  6. 250 followers on TikTok x I have close to 160 followers
  7. Post 10 times on TikTok x Didn’t happen
  8. Post 3 YouTube Videos x Didn’t post a single video
  9. Post 5 times on my blog x No, i only posted 3 times
  10. Make $500 with both of my small business Athena Rose and Selena’s Sweets x NOPE. Made less than half of this
Posted in Life

We Are Moving…Again!

A few days ago, my mom told us that we will be moving soon. We have one month to find a house to move into. She got a letter in the mail saying that the owner of the house we currently live in is selling the property. That is what happened in our last home, which is how we ended up moving here. We have lived here about a year and a half now and I really like our neighborhood and city. It’s the first time that I actually really liked where we were living. I am super upset about the fact that we have to move because I really like this area, it’s close to my job and moving in general is such a hassle. Now that I have my baby it’ll be even more of a hassle for me. I have so much stuff to pack and unpack, I feel like it will take me forever to get everything ready. I will try to enjoy my last month living here in Alhambra. I think what really sucks about when we have to move is the fact that it’s basically two weeks before Christmas. I wish they would’ve at least given us until the beginning of 2020 to move out. But we need to leave by December 15th. We are still currently looking for a new home, I hope we can find one in time.

Posted in Life, Mom Life

One and Done

Being a mom is much harder than I thought. My mom, who had six children, makes it look so easy. Maybe when I am a little bit older, I will change my mind, but for now, I am so one and done! What do I mean by that? Well, as of right now, my baby girl Selena will be my only child.

When I was younger, I never really thought I wanted to be a mom. I always thought if I became a mom, it would “ruin my body”. I was under the impression that becoming a mom meant getting stretch marks, gaining weight, and getting cellulite. I was also scared to have a baby because I knew it would be very painful. Of course I realize now that these are very dumb reasons for not wanting to have a baby, but back then I thought it was important to look a certain way.

Finding out I was pregnant last year was very shocking and upsetting at first. As time went on, I would feel my baby kicking and all her little movements and started picturing my life with her. When I found out that I was having a girl, I was super excited. The closer I got to my due date, the more excited and happy I got. I came up with a list of nearly twenty names and Selena was the name that won, although if it had been completely up to me, her name would’ve been Anastasia.

As much as I love my baby,being a mom is hard. I really thought I would have more support. My mom and sister help out as much as possible, but they work and have their own things to do. I wish I could just stay home with my baby and be a stay at home mom or at least work from home, but this isn’t possible. I had to go back to work when my baby was 3 months old and I hated it. I was always worried about the baby when I was working and I dreaded going to work because I just wanted to be with my baby all the time.

People don’t really talk about the postpartum period and the “fourth trimester” as much as they talk about pregnancy. I knew I shouldn’t expect to sleep much with a baby and was told I would never “get my body back”. However, no one warned me that it is mentally challenging as well. Postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety are two challenges that many mothers go through after giving birth. I used to think why would anyway be depressed after having a baby? It’s such a joyous and happy occasion! I didn’t realize that some mothers get postpartum depression for many reasons. I also didn’t realize I had it until I was about 3 months postpartum. Some of the symptoms that I have experienced while dealing with postpartum depression are: insomnia, over worrying about everything, constantly feeling like I am not a good enough mother and that Selena deserves a better mom,not eating enough, lack of interest in doing something I love (working out), getting angry way too quickly, and having trouble concentrating on most things. At 9 months postpartum, I feel like I am finally starting to feel like my normal self again, though occasionally I do still have some really bad days. I feel like I lost myself as a mother, but through running and writing, I have found myself again, as cheesy and corny as that sounds.

Regardless of all this, I love by baby girl Selena. I just don’t think I can put myself through this again. The last 6 months have been so difficult for me. I am struggling financially, sometimes emotionally, and even physically.

Here’s a great article I found on postpartum depression if you want to learn more about it.

Postpartum Depression Facts

Posted in Mom Life, Running

My First Race as a MOM

A few weeks ago I ran a 5k. I had run many 5k races before, but this was my first 5k race as a mom. This also happened to be the first 5k race that I ran while pushing my baby in her stroller. Running with the stroller wasn’t the hard part. I run with my baby sometimes at the track in the park that’s close to my house. The hardest part was trying to run when there were many walkers in my path. the race course had many narrow paths so I wasn’t able to go around them. My baby slept through most of the race and when she woke up, she didn’t cry. My time was 41 mins, which was my second slowest 5k time ever. I feel like I could’ve done better, but I am happy that I ran my longest run since giving birth. Although I probably won’t run any races with her, I will continue running at the park with her.